<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<rss version="2.0"
	xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"
	xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"
	xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
	xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
	xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/"
	xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/"
	xmlns:itunes="http://www.itunes.com/dtds/podcast-1.0.dtd"
	xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/"
>

<channel>
	<title>Getting Finances Done &#187; Relationships</title>
	<atom:link href="http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/category/relationships/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com</link>
	<description>Your Guide to Stress-Free Financial Control.
Personal finance tips.</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Fri, 18 Jun 2010 17:01:06 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<generator>http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4</generator>
	<language>en</language>
	<sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod>
	<sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency>
		<!-- podcast_generator="podPress/8.8" - maintenance_release="8.8.4" -->
		<copyright>Copyright &#xA9; 2010 Getting Finances Done </copyright>
		<managingEditor>sjpeer@gmail.com (Samuel Peery)</managingEditor>
		<webMaster>sjpeer@gmail.com (Samuel Peery)</webMaster>
		<category>Personal Finance</category>
		<ttl>1440</ttl>
<br />
<b>Warning</b>:  htmlentities() expects at most 3 parameters, 4 given in <b>/home/content/s/j/p/sjpeer/html/blog/wp-content/plugins/podpress/podpress_feed_functions.php</b> on line <b>31</b><br />
		<itunes:keywords></itunes:keywords>
<br />
<b>Warning</b>:  htmlentities() expects at most 3 parameters, 4 given in <b>/home/content/s/j/p/sjpeer/html/blog/wp-content/plugins/podpress/podpress_feed_functions.php</b> on line <b>31</b><br />
		<itunes:subtitle></itunes:subtitle>
<br />
<b>Warning</b>:  htmlentities() expects at most 3 parameters, 4 given in <b>/home/content/s/j/p/sjpeer/html/blog/wp-content/plugins/podpress/podpress_feed_functions.php</b> on line <b>31</b><br />
		<itunes:summary></itunes:summary>
		<itunes:author>Samuel Peery</itunes:author>
		<itunes:category text="Health">
	<itunes:category text="Self-Help"/>
</itunes:category>
<itunes:category text="Kids &amp; Family"/>
<itunes:category text="Business">
	<itunes:category text="Investing"/>
</itunes:category>
		<itunes:owner>
			<itunes:name>Samuel Peery</itunes:name>
			<itunes:email>sjpeer@gmail.com</itunes:email>
		</itunes:owner>
		<itunes:block>No</itunes:block>
		<itunes:explicit>no</itunes:explicit>
		<itunes:image href="http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/images/gfd_podcast_300px.png" />
		<image>
			<url>http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/images/gfd_podcast_144px.png</url>
			<title>Getting Finances Done</title>
			<link>http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com</link>
			<width>144</width>
			<height>144</height>
		</image>
		<item>
		<title>Generosity doesn&#8217;t have to break the bank</title>
		<link>http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2007/07/generosity-doesnt-have-to-break-the-bank/</link>
		<comments>http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2007/07/generosity-doesnt-have-to-break-the-bank/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 11 Jul 2007 17:00:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Emily</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Budgeting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2007/07/generosity-doesnt-have-to-break-the-bank/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<!-- Easy AdSense V2.77 -->
<!-- Post[count: 2] -->
<div class="ezAdsense adsense adsense-leadin" style="float:left;margin:12px; "><script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-4254436566068657";
/* 250x250, created 4/9/10 */
google_ad_slot = "1522302806";
google_ad_width = 250;
google_ad_height = 250;
//-->
</script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script></div>




Get Rich Slowly offers practical suggestions for gift-giving on a budget in the post How to Escape the Gift Trap. We&#8217;ve all tried drawing names and going homemade, but I loved the idea of giving an experience. Making and sharing a meal, or inviting someone on a family outing. By doing this, you&#8217;re not just giving money [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Get Rich Slowly offers practical suggestions for gift-giving on a budget in the post <a title="gift trap" href="http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2007/07/08/how-to-escape-the-gift-trap/" target="_blank">How to Escape the Gift Trap</a>. We&#8217;ve all tried drawing names and going homemade, but I loved the idea of giving an experience. Making and sharing a meal, or inviting someone on a family outing. By doing this, you&#8217;re not just giving money or a gift, you&#8217;re making memories and history together.</p>
<p>Budgeting for gifts is tricky. We made a list of every occasion and person we wanted to give to, with the amount we would like to spend. We made sure to include Mother&#8217;s day, Father&#8217;s day, Valentine&#8217;s day, our anniversary, and any other easily-forgotten occasion for gift giving. When we added it all up, we were astounded&#8211;it cost as much as a vacation to Disney World! Now the tough question: what do we value most? Yes, we want (and need) to give, but we&#8217;re also saving to adopt another child, not to mention our goals to pay off debt and finish our basement. We didn&#8217;t eliminate gifts altogether, but had a great perspective to pare down our spending.</p>
<p>When the time comes to buy gifts, we consult our plan. If one of us wants to give more, we spend our personal money doing so. In a way, that makes getting a nicer gift even more meaningful. Another thing we&#8217;ve done is to give &#8220;our favorite things.&#8221; We created a list of our favorite items&#8211;things that make our lives easier and make us happy every time we use them. This ranges from the practical (<a title="pampered chef scraper" href="http://www.pamperedchef.biz/jenniferharmon?page=products-detail&#038;categoryId=125&#038;productId=190&#038;parentCategoryId=123" target="_blank">Pampered Chef rubber scraper</a>) to the luxurious (<a title="mary kay satin hands set" href="http://www.marykay.com/aewalker/spabody/bodycare/10014082/10014082/default.aspx" target="_blank">Mary Kay Satin Hands Pampering Set</a>). We don&#8217;t feel the need to spend a lot, because we are giving something that we love and know is great.</p>
<p class="facebook"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2007/07/generosity-doesnt-have-to-break-the-bank/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/add-to-facebook-plugin/facebook_share_icon.gif" alt="Share on Facebook" title="Share on Facebook" /></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2007/07/generosity-doesnt-have-to-break-the-bank/" target="_blank" title="Share on Facebook">Share on Facebook</a></p><div class="tweetmeme_button" style="float: left; margin-left: 10px"><a href="http://api.tweetmeme.com/share?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gettingfinancesdone.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2007%2F07%2Fgenerosity-doesnt-have-to-break-the-bank%2F"><img src="http://api.tweetmeme.com/imagebutton.gif?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gettingfinancesdone.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2007%2F07%2Fgenerosity-doesnt-have-to-break-the-bank%2F" height="61" width="51" /></a></div><!--more--><!-- Arkayne Cache: No -->



<div class="arkayne">

  
  
  
  
  



  <h3 class="arkayne-header">
    
      
        More From
        
          sjpeer
        
      
    
  </h3>
  
  
  <!-- Inner Links -->
  <ul class="arkayne-links">
    
    
    <li><a href="http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2010/04/how-to-create-your-first-working-budget-with-excel-or-pen-and-paper/?utm_source=Arkayne.com&amp;utm_medium=Plugin&amp;utm_campaign=sjpeer" id="arkayne-1619441" target="_parent" onclick="return Arkayne.go(event, this, 'link', 1619965, 1619441);">How To Create Your First Working Budget With Excel Or Pen And Paper</a></li>
    
    
    
    <li><a href="http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2009/08/the-new-gfd-is-up/?utm_source=Arkayne.com&amp;utm_medium=Plugin&amp;utm_campaign=sjpeer" id="arkayne-1622242" target="_parent" onclick="return Arkayne.go(event, this, 'link', 1619965, 1622242);">The New GFD Is Up!!!</a></li>
    
    
    
    <li><a href="http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2010/02/what-happened-to-the-12-weeks-to-fiscal-fitness/?utm_source=Arkayne.com&amp;utm_medium=Plugin&amp;utm_campaign=sjpeer" id="arkayne-1620321" target="_parent" onclick="return Arkayne.go(event, this, 'link', 1619965, 1620321);">What happened to the 12 Weeks to Fiscal Fitness?</a></li>
    
    
  </ul>
  


  
  
  

  
  
  
  




  
  

  
  
  
  




  
  

  
  
  
  




  
  

  
  
  
  




  
  

  
  <div class="arkayne-footer" style="display: block !important">
  
  
  <a href="http://www.arkayne.com/sjpeer/?utm_source=Arkayne%20Plugin&amp;utm_medium=Recommend&amp;utm_campaign=Plugin&amp;coupon=SJPEER" target="_blank">
    <img src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/arkayne-media/img/logo-recommend.png" width="153" height="28" border="0" alt="sjpeer uses Arkayne Socialize to increase relevant traffic." style="display: block !important; border: none !important; width: 153px !important; height: 28px !important;" />
  </a>
  
  
  
    <img class="arkayne-hit" src="http://www.arkayne.com/widget/hit/1619965.GIF" border="0" alt="" />
  
</div>

  

</div>







]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2007/07/generosity-doesnt-have-to-break-the-bank/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>8 ways to prepare to become a millionaire</title>
		<link>http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2007/01/8-ways-to-prepare-to-become-a-millionaire/</link>
		<comments>http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2007/01/8-ways-to-prepare-to-become-a-millionaire/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 17 Jan 2007 04:13:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Sam</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Budgeting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Couples]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Finances]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Money]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Finance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Saving]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spending]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2007/01/8-ways-to-prepare-to-become-a-millionaire/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Today I went to lunch with a very wealthy person.  I don&#8217;t know exactly how wealthy , but based on his frequent trips to Maui, the fact that he earns a free plane ticket every month through his frequent flier points, and the fact that the other day he decided to go out and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>
<img src="/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/iStock_Mansion_cropped.jpg" alt="8 ways to prepare to become a millionaire" align="left">Today I went to lunch with a very wealthy person.  I don&#8217;t know exactly <em>how</em> wealthy , but based on his frequent trips to Maui, the fact that he earns a free plane ticket <em>every month</em> through his frequent flier points, and the fact that the other day he decided to go out and buy a truck just because he&#8217;s never had one before, there&#8217;s good reason to believe he&#8217;s close to a seven-digit earner.  As I talked with him, it raised a lot of questions in my mind about how managing my finances will change as my wealth grows.  If I were a millionaire would I still need to budget?  Would I still want to track all my spending?  Would I still need to negotiate with my wife about finances?  It seems logical that with an income over $1,000,000 a year you wouldn&#8217;t need to plan as vigorously.  But in the end thats a lie.  Millionaires that manage their money irresponsibly can quickly lose it all and fall from grace (MC Hammer comes to mind).
</p>
<p>
Financial management principles are the same for millionaires and low-income-earners alike.  Certainly the numbers your dealing with will change, but the basic principles and processes are still the same.  In fact, by following sound financial management principles and optimizing your frame of mind, you can accelerate the process of building wealth and know how to keep it when you arrive.  Here are 7 ideas that will help you think about and manage money like a millionaire, regardless of your income.
</p>
<p><span id="more-46"></span></p>
<h4>1. Be who you want to be.  Earning more money amplifies who you are.  </h4>
<p>
I&#8217;m going to borrow my first idea directly from my lunch partner who said &#8220;earning more money really just amplifies who you are.&#8221;  While that might seem initially like a good thing, it really is a double-edged sword.  For some, becoming a millionaire leads to a life of over-indulgence and decay.  We catch glimpses of this in the popular media and entertainment world; drug addiction, abuse, and infidelity.  Blemishes in your character will still be there if you become wealthy.  Don&#8217;t fool yourself into thinking that having more money will solve your problems.  It could make them worse.
</p>
<p>
On the other hand, if you have a mindset of serving and making a postitive contribution to your family and community <em>now</em>, you will be able to manifest those contributions with even greater power and effectiveness when you&#8217;re rich.  By focusing on the positive contribution you want to make in your life, you will be prepared to expand and amplify your contribution as you earn more money.
</p>
<p><h4>2. Build your relationships.  Earning more money amplifies your relationship dynamics.  </h4>
<p>
Let me tell you a secret: earning more money does <em>not</em> solve your relationship problems.  Even though my income has increased significantly over our 10 years of marriage, we still tend to argue about the exact same financial issues.  If you have bad arguments over <em>$100</em>, just think of the how intense they will get arguing over <em>$10,000</em> or <em>$100,000</em>.  Working out your finances as a couple isn&#8217;t about the dollars, it&#8217;s about your values.  By making all your spending and budgeting explicit, and by working as a team, you can address those values differences before they get out of control.  As you become more wealthy, you&#8217;ll have a trusted, agreed-upon system in place to manage your increase.
</p>
<h4>3. Spend money consciously, but on a macro level.</h4>
<p>
Even as a millionaire you should know where every dollar is spent, but you don&#8217;t necessarily need to know line-item detail.  Rather, you need to know how much is spent within broad, macro-level categories.  Millionaire&#8217;s still need to decide how many thousands of dollars they&#8217;re going to spend on the &#8220;blow&#8221; category every month in relation to other expenses.  Their blow category may be able to fund a new truck while mine funds a new book, but the decision is the same.
</p>
<p>
I recently read an article at <a href="http://www.stevepavlina.com">StevePavlina.com</a> where he talked about his <a href="c">goal of becoming a millionaire</a>.  He mentioned that to get in the mindset of a millionaire he would carry hundreds of dollars in cash in his wallet and not fret over $100 purchases.  At first glance, it seemed that he was spending his money irresponsibly.  But the fact is you can spend <em>some</em> of your money frivolously and still have total control over your finances.  The trick is to simply decide how much you&#8217;re willing to blow in relation to the rest of your finances.
</p>
<p>
If I were a millionaire I may very well give myself and my wife $1,000 in personal money every month.  That leaves a lot of room for spending money any way I want, anytime I want.  But looking at my finances as a whole, there will be some limit as to how much I&#8217;m <em>really</em> willing to spend this way.
</p>
<h4>4. Be generous regardless of your income.</h4>
<p>
If you want to become a millionaire, be generous <em>now</em>.  Charitable giving seems to be a universal law that attracts abundance into your life.  Scriptures have taught this principle for ages and even T.V. shows like <a href="http://www.tv.com/my-name-is-earl/show/31988/summary.html?om_act=convert&#038;om_clk=tabssh&#038;tag=tabs;summary">My Name is Earl </a> jokingly acknowledge the effect of good karma and the golden rule.
</p>
<p>
Many people deceive themselves thinking &#8220;once I have a lot of money, I will give generously to charities,&#8221; but don&#8217;t make even small charitable contributions today.  If you have a hard time giving away $10 <em>now</em>, what makes you think you&#8217;ll be able to easily give away $10,000 when you&#8217;re wealthy?
</p>
<p>
Upon recieving some windfall money recently, my wife and I decided to allocate a few hundred dollars to &#8220;random charitable acts.&#8221;  We already donate to our church regularly but felt that we&#8217;d like to be able to give to specific people as we felt inspired to do so.  We hope this will put us in a mindset of giving.  We can actively be aware of the needs around us and feel empowered to help others financially as needed.
</p>
<p>
How cool would it be to do this on a large scale?  I&#8217;ve been inspired by Billion-dollar donations from Bill Gates and Warren Buffet to charitable causes and think it&#8217;s a great example of a person&#8217;s character amplified.  I recently read about someone who just decided one day to go out in public and start handing out $20 bills to random people.  It seems counter-intuitive, but the stronger you grasp money, the harder it is to attract it into your life.  In contrast, the more generous you are, the more it will flow into your life.
</p>
<h4>5. Provide enourmous value at work (self-employed or not)</h4>
<p>
One characteristic most wealthy people I know have in common is that they are totally invested in their business.  Whether they earned their wealth by starting their own business or by working for another business, they all are focused on adding enormous value.
</p>
<p>
Sometimes it&#8217;s easy to kick back and waste time when working for an employer.  It&#8217;s easy to not feel personally invested.  But by doing so you&#8217;re only hurting yourself.  In every job there are possibilities to contribute above and beyond what&#8217;s expected.  Those who do tend to expand their influence and are promoted faster.  Treat your job like it&#8217;s your own business and you&#8217;ll find a level of enthusiasm you didn&#8217;t know existed.  Looking at work through the lens of business ownership, you also may just find yourself aching to start your own business.  Either way, you&#8217;ll be a happier person and will find that opportunities for advancement and wealth come to you more effortlessly.
</p>
<h4>6. Plan a &#8220;millionaire lifestyle&#8221; day.</h4>
<p>
Imagine what your day-to-day life would be like as a millionaire.  Would you get up and go play tennis?  Or would you sleep in as late as your want?  How would you interact with family and friends?  Would you still work but only on projects you love?  Once you have a clear picture in mind, find a day you can take off work and do those activities.  Of course, there may be restrictions on how much you can spend, but do as much as you can afford.
</p>
<p>
By actually <em>doing</em> what you think you&#8217;d do as a millionaire, you can take one small step towards turning your thoughts into reality.  Some people may find that they don&#8217;t really enjoy the activities as much as they thought.  If the reality doesn&#8217;t live up to your expectations, re-think things and try again.  If you think you&#8217;d spend your time running a business, you could use your millionaire day as a way to take massive action towards starting that business.  Don&#8217;t just do this once.  Schedule a &#8220;millionaire lifestyle&#8221; day 2 or 3 times a year.  Have fun and get a taste of the millionaire life.
</p>
<h4>7.  Build a strong foundation and get ready for your finances to explode.</h4>
<p>
It&#8217;s easy for people to get overwhelmed by the enormity of the task of getting out of debt, paying off your house, and saving for retirement.  But what most people don&#8217;t think about is that with a focused budget and a debt-reduction plan, there comes a point at which your debt and house are paid off and you&#8217;re already saving enough for a comfortable retirement.  All of a sudden you&#8217;re in a position with <em>no debt, no payments</em>, and possibly <em>thousands of dollars a month of disposable income</em>.  Overnight, your famine turns into a feast.  That&#8217;s when life gets really fun.
</p>
<p>
While we&#8217;re still working on paying off our house, we have already started experiencing this shift.  It used to be that we struggled to fund luxury categories like gifts and vacation.  Bonuses and cash gifts were used to fund categories that we knew we wanted to budget for but didn&#8217;t have enough month-to-month income to fund.  Over the past couple years, we&#8217;ve been able to fully fund these categories and windfall money now goes mostly straight to debt reduction.  Soon our second mortgage will be paid off and we&#8217;ll be putting that several hundred dollars a month (our payment plus snowball) into our first mortgage.  Once the first mortgage is paid off, we should have over $2,000 a month to play with.  And that isn&#8217;t even taking into consideration any income increases I may have over time.  $1,000 a month in personal money doesn&#8217;t sound all that far off after all.  And I won&#8217;t even need to be a millionaire to get it.
</p>
<h4>8. Recognize your wealth <em>now</em> to attract more into your life.</h4>
<p>
If you&#8217;re reading this blog, chances are you&#8217;re more wealthy than the vast majority of the world.  Sometimes it&#8217;s easy to forget that simple fact.  You <em>are</em> wealthy.  I recently listened to an audio program by Dr. Wayne Dyer where he mentioned that if you were to compare the population of the earth to a village of 100 people and apply the same statistics you would see that 6 of the people (all from the United States) have 59% of all the wealth of the world and that only 1 person would own a computer.  If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head, and a place to sleep, you are better off than 75% of the world&#8217;s population.
</p>
<p>
By focusing on the wealth you already have in your life, you will attract more of it.  If you only think about scarcity and what you don&#8217;t have, that&#8217;s exactly what you&#8217;ll attract.  To <em>create</em> wealth, you have to think <em>creatively</em>.
</p>
<p>
Be a millionaire is a frame of mind.  If you&#8217;re only after <em>money</em>, you&#8217;ll always want more and will never have enough.  If you&#8217;re after <em>happiness</em>, you can find it at any moment by changing your focus.  By following these guidelines you&#8217;ll be able to experience just as much joy and satisfaction as any millionaire.  &#8220;Money can&#8217;t buy me love&#8221; nor can it buy happiness.</p>
<p class="facebook"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2007/01/8-ways-to-prepare-to-become-a-millionaire/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/add-to-facebook-plugin/facebook_share_icon.gif" alt="Share on Facebook" title="Share on Facebook" /></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2007/01/8-ways-to-prepare-to-become-a-millionaire/" target="_blank" title="Share on Facebook">Share on Facebook</a></p><div class="tweetmeme_button" style="float: left; margin-left: 10px"><a href="http://api.tweetmeme.com/share?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gettingfinancesdone.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2007%2F01%2F8-ways-to-prepare-to-become-a-millionaire%2F"><img src="http://api.tweetmeme.com/imagebutton.gif?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gettingfinancesdone.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2007%2F01%2F8-ways-to-prepare-to-become-a-millionaire%2F" height="61" width="51" /></a></div><!--more--><!-- Arkayne Cache: Yes -->



<div class="arkayne">

  
  
  
  
  



  <h3 class="arkayne-header">
    
      
        More From
        
          sjpeer
        
      
    
  </h3>
  
  
  <!-- Inner Links -->
  <ul class="arkayne-links">
    
    
    <li><a href="http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/08/3-reasons-most-budgets-dont-work-and-how-to-fix-them-aka-how-to-create-a-budget-that-works/?utm_source=Arkayne.com&amp;utm_medium=Plugin&amp;utm_campaign=sjpeer" id="arkayne-1619424" target="_parent" onclick="return Arkayne.go(event, this, 'link', 1619208, 1619424);">3 reasons most budgets don’t work and how to fix them (a.k.a. How to create a budget that works)</a></li>
    
    
    
    <li><a href="http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/10/how-to-become-a-personal-finance-black-belt/?utm_source=Arkayne.com&amp;utm_medium=Plugin&amp;utm_campaign=sjpeer" id="arkayne-1619768" target="_parent" onclick="return Arkayne.go(event, this, 'link', 1619208, 1619768);">How to become a personal finance “black belt” | Getting Finances Done</a></li>
    
    
    
    <li><a href="http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/08/how-to-create-a-zero-based-budget/?utm_source=Arkayne.com&amp;utm_medium=Plugin&amp;utm_campaign=sjpeer" id="arkayne-1619074" target="_parent" onclick="return Arkayne.go(event, this, 'link', 1619208, 1619074);">How to create a zero-based budget</a></li>
    
    
  </ul>
  


  
  
  

  
  
  
  




  
  

  
  
  
  




  
  

  
  
  
  




  
  

  
  
  
  




  
  

  
  <div class="arkayne-footer" style="display: block !important">
  
  
  <a href="http://www.arkayne.com/sjpeer/?utm_source=Arkayne%20Plugin&amp;utm_medium=Recommend&amp;utm_campaign=Plugin&amp;coupon=SJPEER" target="_blank">
    <img src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/arkayne-media/img/logo-recommend.png" width="153" height="28" border="0" alt="sjpeer uses Arkayne Socialize to increase relevant traffic." style="display: block !important; border: none !important; width: 153px !important; height: 28px !important;" />
  </a>
  
  
  
    <img class="arkayne-hit" src="http://www.arkayne.com/widget/hit/1619208.GIF" border="0" alt="" />
  
</div>

  

</div>







]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2007/01/8-ways-to-prepare-to-become-a-millionaire/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>24</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>How to become a personal finance &#8220;black belt&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/10/how-to-become-a-personal-finance-black-belt/</link>
		<comments>http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/10/how-to-become-a-personal-finance-black-belt/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 04 Oct 2006 06:56:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Sam</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Budget]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Budgeting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Budgets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cash]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Couples]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Credit Cards]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emergencies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Finance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Finances]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Money]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Finance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Saving]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spending]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/10/how-to-become-a-personal-finance-black-belt/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
David Allen in &#8220;Getting Things Done&#8221; compares productivity to the martial arts.  He gives instruction on how to become a black belt in your personal productivity with a &#8220;mind like water&#8221; that allows you to handle anything that comes your way with a balanced response.  When a stone is thrown into a pond, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>
David Allen in &#8220;Getting Things Done&#8221; compares productivity to the martial arts.  He gives instruction on how to become a black belt in your personal productivity with a &#8220;mind like water&#8221; that allows you to handle anything that comes your way with a balanced response.  When a stone is thrown into a pond, the water reacts with perfect balance.  It reacts just enough to disperse the energy, no more, and then returns to a calm state.  It doesn&#8217;t over or under react.
</p>
<p>
Becoming a black belt and having a &#8220;mind like water&#8221; in your personal finances is very similar.  It means you can take whatever is thrown at you without knocking your finances out of control.  You can respond to any situation with perfect balance.  Unexpected events or changes in your finances, good or bad, can be handled with optimum efficiency, and little or no stress.  It means you can direct the flow of money where you need it almost effortlessly.
</p>
<p>
In an effort to help people gauge where they are in their personal finance development, I&#8217;ve defined what people at the various &#8220;belts&#8221; might look like.  Where are you?
</p>
<p><span id="more-25"></span></p>
<h4>White Belt</h4>
<p>You&#8217;ve recognized there is a problem with your finances and have committed to taking control.  Recognition that there&#8217;s problem may come as a nagging doubt that you&#8217;re not meeting all your financial goals or a harsh reality check as you face mounting debt.   You have a lot of stress concerning finances (even if you&#8217;re living within your means).  You tend to fight with your spouse every time you discuss financial matters.  You recognize your spending isn&#8217;t in line with your true values.  You have no idea where all the money goes from month to month.  You may be living paycheck to paycheck.  If you saved $5 on your phone bill, it would just disappear somewhere but you don&#8217;t know where.  Your idea of an emergency fund is a credit card or Home Equity Line of Credit.  You frequently pay late fees on your bills and unnecessary bank fees.  Net worth?  What&#8217;s that?
</p>
<p>
Despite your lack of financial control, you have a strong resolve to take action even though the thought of facing the <a href="http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/09/personal-finances-can-be-a-deep-mess/">&#8220;deep mess&#8221;</a> of your finances seems overwhelming.  You and your spouse have agreed to work together.  In an effort to get your spending under control, you&#8217;ve started using cash for your &#8220;out-of-control&#8221; budget categories.  You&#8217;ve stopped using credit cards somewhat reluctantly and possibly out of the sheer pain of your dire financial straights.  Despite some complaining, your family has agreed to use cash as well.  You&#8217;ve taken initial steps to figure out what your basic monthly income and expenses are and have tried budgeting for at least one month even though it doesn&#8217;t match reality yet.
</p>
<p>
Most importantly, you&#8217;re no longer willing to BE IN DEBT!<br />
</br>You&#8217;re no longer willing to constantly WORRY ABOUT MONEY!<br />
</br>You&#8217;re no longer willing to FIGHT ABOUT MONEY!<br />
</br>You&#8217;re no longer willing to PAY LATE FEES!<br />
</br>You&#8217;re committed to TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FINANCES!<br />
</br>You&#8217;re committed to WORKING THROUGH FINANCIAL ISSUES TOGETHER WITH YOUR SPOUSE!
</p>
<p>
White belts come in many shapes and sizes.  Of course, those steeped in debt and on the verge of bankruptcy can be white belts, but so can those who are living within their means (see below).  Being a white belt means you don&#8217;t have total control over where your money goes.  Your spending doesn&#8217;t reflect your true values and is not conscious.  The white belt is about recognition and commitment.  You&#8217;ve recognized a need to change and are committed to doing what it takes to change.
</p>
<h4>Green Belt</h4>
<p>
You&#8217;re well under way implementing your financial-management plan.  You&#8217;ve budgeted for at least 3 months in a row and have worked many of the kinks out.  Your budget actually reflects reality.
</p>
<p>
You meet with your spouse about every two weeks to keep things on track.  You often have to implement the <a href="http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/09/3-keys-to-making-your-personal-finances-work-as-a-couple/">30-minute rule</a> and meet several days in a row to prevent total melt-downs.
</p>
<p>
You&#8217;ve taken all credit cards out of your wallet and are using cash for all of your &#8220;in-person&#8221; spending.  As a result, for the first time you feel like you have control over your spending.  You&#8217;ve even started developing your own unique ways of managing your cash and have a tendency to give spontaneous testimonials about the virtues of cash whenever someone acknowledges your use of a cash envelope.
</p>
<p>
You&#8217;re well under way saving for a <a href="http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/08/6-ways-a-short-term-emergency-fund-can-help-save-your-budget/">short-term emergency fund</a>.  You may not have it fully funded yet but you already notice feeling much less stressed having at least something in place.  For the first time in your life, you may have even experienced an emergency and had the money to pay for it.  You have created an initial net worth statement and have a general idea about your overall financial status.  </p>
<p>
If you saved $5 on your phone bill, you could probably redirect it rather than letting it disappear.  You no longer pay late fees or bank fees.  If necessary, you&#8217;ve made major changes in your lifestyle to ensure you can live well within your means.
</p>
<h4>Brown Belt </h4>
<p>
You&#8217;ve been on a <a href="http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/08/how-to-create-a-zero-based-budget/">zero-based budget</a> for over 6 months and things are really humming.  You may have occasional refinements, but things are mostly on cruise control.  You&#8217;re able to manage your finances on one meeting a month and are able to get through most meetings without any arguments.
</p>
<p>
You&#8217;ve gone through at least one set of envelopes.  You find that you&#8217;re keeping the cash envelopes the bank gives you when you cash a check or make a withdrawal because they are a better size than regular envelopes.
</p>
<p>
You&#8217;re friends have started noticing that you pay cash all the time and have asked you about it.  You find yourself preaching the cash gospel and sharing your success whenever you can.
</p>
<p>
You have a fully-funded <a href="http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/08/6-ways-a-short-term-emergency-fund-can-help-save-your-budget/">short-term emergency fund</a> and have started reducing consumer debt or increasing retirement savings.  You have a strong sense of control over your finances and can see significant improvement every time you refresh your net worth report (which you do at least once a quarter).  You and your spouse have reconciled your financial differences and have a new-found sense of unity when it comes to finances.  You&#8217;ve created a list of rules concerning what you both consider to be an emergency as well as what you want to do with any unexpected windfall money.  By making these decisions ahead of time while you&#8217;re calm, you avoid big arguments when these events occur.</p>
<h4>Black Belt</h4>
<p>
You laugh in the face of emergencies (mua-ha-ha) and can easily and confidently deal with anything thrown at you.  Seriously, for all practical purposes financial emergencies don&#8217;t really exist for you any more.  If you save $5 on a phone bill, you&#8217;re financial system allows you to know about it and easily redirect it exactly where you want.  You have complete financial control over every dollar.
</p>
<p>
You no longer worry about finances.  Instead of worrying about how to pay the bills on time, you think about what investments to make or which debt to pay off next.  You&#8217;re amazed and shocked that people even pay late fees (you obviously are having a bout of selective amnesia).  You are aggressively on track to pay off all consumer debt and/or save for retirement.  In fact, sometimes you find it hard to spend extra funds because you&#8217;re so excited to become debt-free that you want to reduce your debt instead.
</p>
<p>
You finally feel like where you spend your money is a reflection of your true values.  You and your spouse see eye-to-eye concerning finances.  You only have major financial discussions when your financial situation changes dramatically.
</p>
<p>
You not only calculate your net worth quarterly, but also have calculated when you&#8217;ll become financially independent.
</p>
<p>
You kind of wish you&#8217;d get fired so you could find a job you really like (you have a full emergency fund and could get by for 3 to 6 months without any income).  You only have to spend about 30 minutes a month on average managing your finances.  You&#8217;ve cut up all your credit cards because you just don&#8217;t need or want them anymore.
</p>
<h4>Your belt level isn&#8217;t about debt, savings, or your net worth.</h4>
<p>
Some of you may have noticed that my description of the belts didn&#8217;t include savings percentages or require you to be debt-free.  Your belt level isn&#8217;t about debt, savings, or your net worth.  It&#8217;s about your ability to control your money, ensuring that each dollar is directed where you want.  I&#8217;m sure I&#8217;ll get a lot of flack for saying this.  Of course, savings and debt elimination <em>are</em> cornerstones of a solid financial foundation.  But to enable you to save and pay off debt, you first have to get a handle on your inflows and outflows.  As you gain greater levels of financial control, you can easily reach your savings and debt-reduction goals at an ever-accelerated rate.
</p>
<p>
The good news is, you <em>can</em> become a financial black belt even if you still have debt or haven&#8217;t reached your long-term goals.  Of course, if you <em>are</em> a black belt, it won&#8217;t be for long before you do.  As you progress in your career and get raises, or as you receive windfalls, you will be able to direct those extra funds with great focus and power to eliminate debt and reach your long-term goals.  That&#8217;s the power of a black belt.
</p>
<h4>Take your finances to an &#8220;11&#8243;</h4>
<p>
I can&#8217;t avoid referencing this segment from <em>This Is Spinal Tap</em>.  If you haven&#8217;t seen it, you should take a look.
</p>
<p>
<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/hjhh--4Yff4"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/hjhh--4Yff4" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>
</p>
<p>
I know many people who live within their means, pay off their credit card bill every month, and think they have arrived in terms of financial management.  But the fact is, you can do these things and <em>still be a financial white belt</em>.  I know this for a fact because I&#8217;ve been there.
</p>
<p>
There was a time when our income <em>greatly</em> exceeded our expenses.  We saved ten percent and gave to our church.  We also lived large and bought just about anything we wanted and were still living within our means.  For the most part, we just accumulated a bunch of &#8220;stuff&#8221; and made a lot of emotional, at-the-register purchases.  As we look back we kick ourselves for not using that money in a more conscious way.  Had we been financial black belts, we could have greatly accelerated our journey to financial independence.  Today, even though we have downgraded to a single income and increased our expenses (mortgage, child), we are doing more with what we have now than we did with two incomes, no children, and low living expenses.  As a result we have been able to reach financial goals with tremendous speed and ease.
</p>
<p>
I&#8217;m not saying you have to choose between having fun with your money and saving it for later.  As a black belt, you can set aside funds for frivolous spending and still aggressively meet your financial goals.  The key is to spend consciously, making decisions as they relate to your values and your finances as a whole.  If you plan wisely, you can have the best of both worlds.</p>
<p class="facebook"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/10/how-to-become-a-personal-finance-black-belt/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/add-to-facebook-plugin/facebook_share_icon.gif" alt="Share on Facebook" title="Share on Facebook" /></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/10/how-to-become-a-personal-finance-black-belt/" target="_blank" title="Share on Facebook">Share on Facebook</a></p><div class="tweetmeme_button" style="float: left; margin-left: 10px"><a href="http://api.tweetmeme.com/share?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gettingfinancesdone.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2006%2F10%2Fhow-to-become-a-personal-finance-black-belt%2F"><img src="http://api.tweetmeme.com/imagebutton.gif?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gettingfinancesdone.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2006%2F10%2Fhow-to-become-a-personal-finance-black-belt%2F" height="61" width="51" /></a></div><!--more--><!-- Arkayne Cache: Yes -->



<div class="arkayne">

  
  
  
  
  



  <h3 class="arkayne-header">
    
      
        More From
        
          sjpeer
        
      
    
  </h3>
  
  
  <!-- Inner Links -->
  <ul class="arkayne-links">
    
    
    <li><a href="http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/08/3-reasons-most-budgets-dont-work-and-how-to-fix-them-aka-how-to-create-a-budget-that-works/?utm_source=Arkayne.com&amp;utm_medium=Plugin&amp;utm_campaign=sjpeer" id="arkayne-1619424" target="_parent" onclick="return Arkayne.go(event, this, 'link', 1619768, 1619424);">3 reasons most budgets don’t work and how to fix them (a.k.a. How to create a budget that works)</a></li>
    
    
    
    <li><a href="http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/08/how-to-create-a-zero-based-budget/?utm_source=Arkayne.com&amp;utm_medium=Plugin&amp;utm_campaign=sjpeer" id="arkayne-1619074" target="_parent" onclick="return Arkayne.go(event, this, 'link', 1619768, 1619074);">How to create a zero-based budget</a></li>
    
    
    
    <li><a href="http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2007/04/applying-gtd-principles-to-your-personal-finances-part-2/?utm_source=Arkayne.com&amp;utm_medium=Plugin&amp;utm_campaign=sjpeer" id="arkayne-1619301" target="_parent" onclick="return Arkayne.go(event, this, 'link', 1619768, 1619301);">Applying GTD principles to your personal finances – Part 2 | Getting Finances Done</a></li>
    
    
  </ul>
  


  
  
  

  
  
  
  




  
  

  
  
  
  




  
  

  
  
  
  




  
  

  
  
  
  




  
  

  
  <div class="arkayne-footer" style="display: block !important">
  
  
  <a href="http://www.arkayne.com/sjpeer/?utm_source=Arkayne%20Plugin&amp;utm_medium=Recommend&amp;utm_campaign=Plugin&amp;coupon=SJPEER" target="_blank">
    <img src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/arkayne-media/img/logo-recommend.png" width="153" height="28" border="0" alt="sjpeer uses Arkayne Socialize to increase relevant traffic." style="display: block !important; border: none !important; width: 153px !important; height: 28px !important;" />
  </a>
  
  
  
    <img class="arkayne-hit" src="http://www.arkayne.com/widget/hit/1619768.GIF" border="0" alt="" />
  
</div>

  

</div>







]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/10/how-to-become-a-personal-finance-black-belt/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>19</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>3 keys to making your personal finances work as a couple</title>
		<link>http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/09/3-keys-to-making-your-personal-finances-work-as-a-couple/</link>
		<comments>http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/09/3-keys-to-making-your-personal-finances-work-as-a-couple/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 Sep 2006 06:34:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Sam</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Budget]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Budgeting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Budgets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Couples]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Finance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Finances]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Money]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Finance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spending]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/09/3-keys-to-making-your-personal-finances-work-as-a-couple/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Get Rich Slowly recently had a reader pose the following question:
&#8220;While I try my best to “get rich slowly” I have one huge issue: a husband. My husband likes to spend money. I’m referred to as the “Thrifty One Who Won’t Allow Me To Buy Stuff” and he’s referred to as “That Jerk Who Buys [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.getrichslowly.org">Get Rich Slowly</a> recently had a reader pose the following question:</p>
<p><em>&#8220;While I try my best to “get rich slowly” I have one huge issue: a husband. My husband likes to spend money. I’m referred to as the “Thrifty One Who Won’t Allow Me To Buy Stuff” and he’s referred to as “That Jerk Who Buys Stuff”. Do you have any advice for couples that need to have the other half put on a strict budget without making them feel like a child?&#8221;</em></p>
<p>
I posted a comment at Get Rich Slowly in response, but I thought this excellent question deserved a more thorough answer, so here goes.
</p>
<p><span id="more-23"></span></p>
<p>
In my experience, there are 3 keys to making your personal finances work as a couple:</p>
<ol>
<li>If you don&#8217;t already have an established method of managing finances, decide together to try an established, published system.  Agree to stick to it exactly, unless you both decide to deviate.</li>
<li>Make the &#8220;personal&#8221; budget category a high-priority and fund it as generously as you can.</li>
<li>Don&#8217;t discuss finances for more than 30 minutes at a time or past 10:00 at night.  If you don&#8217;t get through all the issues, meet again tomorrow.</li>
</ol>
<h4>1. If you don&#8217;t already have an established method of managing finances, decide together to try an established, published system.  Agree to stick to it exactly, unless you both decide to deviate.</h4>
<p>
My wife and I have always lived within our means and have never had debt problems.  However, we never saw eye-to-eye on the specifics of how to manage finances.  I always felt like we were doing great; we were living within our means and saving 10% of our income for retirement.  I figured we could spend the rest however we wanted.  My wife always felt like the rest of our money was just wasting away on things that were useless.  Even though we were doing better than a large portion of the population, she continued to experience significant anxiety and discontentment.
</p>
<p>
We both had read several personal finance books and tried to persuade the other to adopt the principles, but to no avail.  I realize now that in many cases we weren&#8217;t rejecting the ideas, we were rejecting the messenger (the  spouse).
</p>
<p>
Finally, after 10 years of marriage we faced a series of emergencies that forced us to either move from our home and dramatically reduce our standard of living or get a tight grip on our financial management.  We figured we could barely make it through if we carefully managed every dollar.
</p>
<p>
In our desperation, we decided to attend Dave Ramsey&#8217;s Financial Peace University, a 3-month, weekly course in managing personal finances.  Knowing that one of us had always rejected financial ideas proposed by the other, we agreed that we would follow the program to the letter, even though we didn&#8217;t know what it would consist of.  If we BOTH disagreed (which we did at points) with the program, <em>then</em> we could alter it.  But if only one of us disagreed, we would have to follow the program as the default.
</p>
<p>
This was one of the BEST decisions we&#8217;ve ever made in our personal finances.  It allowed us to stop fighting each other.  By having a completely objective third party telling us what to do, it was easier to accept the concepts.  If we both felt there was a better way of doing things, we weren&#8217;t tied to Dave Ramsey&#8217;s system and could discuss how to alter it to better fit our needs.  In short, it factored out personal grudges and judgments.  We were left to judge the actual content and not the content-delivery system.
</p>
<p>
If you&#8217;ve always had a hard time agreeing upon a system, TRY THIS OUT!  Don&#8217;t get stuck on a particular method.  If <em>you&#8217;re</em> convinced a certain system will work and your spouse is not, find a different system you can <em>both</em> agree to try.  Otherwise, your spouse will be resisting <em>you</em> rather than the content.  It&#8217;s way more important to just get on the same page.  Most main-stream systems for managing finances are theoretically sound.  If you first get a system established, then you&#8217;ll at least have a base system from which you can discuss deviations.
</p>
<h4>2. Make the &#8220;personal&#8221; budget category a high-priority and fund it as generously as you can.</h4>
<p>
The &#8220;personal&#8221; budget category is a key to helping a budget work.  Having personal money that you, and only you control makes budgeting as a couple tolerable.  It&#8217;s easy to imagine why couples are financially miserable when they have to negotiate every single purchase with their spouse.
</p>
<p>
My &#8220;personal&#8221; funds are what I really care about the most.  I don&#8217;t really care that much about groceries or household items or hair cuts.  Sure, I care on a large scale &#8211; I don&#8217;t want to spend so much that we can&#8217;t meet our other goals.  But I&#8217;m not that emotionally tied to them, so I can discuss them with my wife non-emotionally.  On the other hand, if I had to negotiate every <em>personal</em> purchase &#8211; every book, CD, and soda &#8211; I&#8217;m sure we&#8217;d end up in endless arguments every month!
</p>
<p>
The fact is, many couples end up spending personal money anyway.  They just hide it or manipulate the system.  Why not explicitly budget &#8220;personal&#8221; funds and reap the benefits of knowing that money is <em>yours</em>.
</p>
<p>
Here are a few of guidelines for your &#8220;personal&#8221; budget category:</p>
<h5>Separate checking accounts are ok for personal funds</h5>
<p>
It&#8217;s important to have at least a small financial slice to call your own.  You can manage it however you want.  If you don&#8217;t want to budget it, that&#8217;s ok.  Waste it all if you want.  Or save it for that new electronic gadget.    While my wife and I keep separate checking accounts for our personal funds, we still have access to look at each others&#8217; accounts if we want.  But I don&#8217;t think I&#8217;ve looked once and don&#8217;t really care how she spends her funds.</li>
</p>
<h5>Be as generous as you can afford</h5</p>
<p>
My wife and I budget $100 each for personal funds.  Whenever I mention that to someone, they are always shocked the figure is so high.  Well, you can afford to do that when you don&#8217;t have a car payment <img src='http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':-)' class='wp-smiley' /> .  Seriously, I give our personal fund a huge amount of credit for making our budget work and go smoothly.  $100 is more than enough to feed my book-buying addiction.  It&#8217;s also substantial enough that I could fairly quickly save for large purchases of several hundred or even a thousand dollars.  There&#8217;s almost nothing I couldn&#8217;t afford over time, even that new HDTV I really want.
</p>
<p>
Personal funds can also act like a shock absorber, similar to the &#8220;cushion&#8221; budget category.  Sometimes I want to eat out with my co-workers more than I have money allocated for.  No problem, I just use personal funds.  Similarly, I often buy my boy a toy now and again with personal funds.  It&#8217;s easier than waiting and negotiating it with my wife.  With such a generous personal fund I really don&#8217;t feel a loss from $5 or $10 every now and again.
</p>
<p>
One last benefit that can be a huge plus in marriage; having personal funds can make gift giving more meaningful.  Before we started budgeting personal funds, gifts seemed less meaningful because all our funds were pooled and negotiated.  Budget meetings were like, &#8220;Hey hun, I want to buy you some roses this month, so let&#8217;s budget $20.&#8221;  How romantic.  Now, when I give my wife spontaneous gifts, they are even more meaningful because I use my own money.  I&#8217;m sacrificing my own interests for her sake.  Let the romance begin.
</p>
<p>
Obviously, not everyone will be able to afford $100 each for a personal fund.  We started out at $20 each and grew it from there as we could.  Do the best you can.  I recommend allocating at least $20 each for &#8220;personal.&#8221;  That&#8217;s enough to buy one medium-size purchase like a book or CD a month.  You certainly need to be meeting your debt reduction and savings goals first, but your &#8220;personal&#8221; and &#8220;cushion&#8221; categories should be close behind in priority.
</p>
<h5>Keep it even</h5>
<p>
This one&#8217;s easy.  You always allocate the same amount to each person.  I&#8217;ve never found a good or fair way to do it otherwise.  This also goes for personal funds that we allocate from bonuses or other windfalls.  If we get an unexpected windfall and I want that new road bike for $600, I should expect my wife to get $600 to spend how she wants as well.  You <em>can</em> discuss variations to this rule if you like, but it should be the baseline assumption.
</p>
<h4>3. Don&#8217;t discuss finances for more than 30 minutes at a time or past 10:00 at night.  If you don&#8217;t get through all the issues, meet again tomorrow</h4>
<p>
Doing finances as a couple is hard enough.  Why complicate things by dragging a tired or distracted spouse through sometimes tedious and intense discussions.  I&#8217;ve found that almost exactly after 30 minutes of discussing finances, I start to tire of the conversation.  Suddenly I become contradictory and hard to work with.
</p>
<p>
Similarly, after 10:00, financial discussions should be prohibited.  We&#8217;ve tried discussing finances after 10, or even 11pm and it wasn&#8217;t a pretty sight.  I disagree with everything and am very grouchy.  Every time it&#8217;s ended with contention and bad feelings.
</p>
<p>These guidelines should be adjusted based on the personalities involved.  Maybe both partners have a nicer demeanor and higher tolerance for talking about finances than me.  Or maybe both are night owls.  Great, expand the limits.  On the other hand, you may need to shrink the allotted 30 minutes or move up the evening cut-off time if finances are a really tough issue.  Just try to meet for a minimum of 15 minutes or it will be hard to make progress.
</p>
<p>
If you&#8217;re establishing a budget for the first time and have lots of issues to discuss, you may need to meet several nights in a row for 30 minutes to get through everything.  That&#8217;s ok and should be expected.  At least you&#8217;ll be able to do so in a civil manner.<br />
</P></p>
<p>
Limiting the time spent discussing finances has a great benefit.  You become much more focused on the issue at hand.  Agendas for budget meetings are entirely appropriate and helpful.  A time limit will help you get clarity on exactly what needs to be addressed.  Rather than allowing yourselves to digress, you will stay on topic and have more efficient meetings.  This can also have the side effect of making things less emotional which is a VERY good thing when talking about finances.
</p>
<h4>Conclusion</h4>
<p>
It&#8217;s no surprise money is the #2 cause of divorce.  In our marriage, even when our financial situation has been good, it&#8217;s still been one of our major issues.  Following these steps has helped us get to the point where finances are no longer a major issue.  For the first time in tens years, we see eye-to-eye.  Sure, we still have an occasional disagreement, but these steps have alleviated a huge amount of tension and stress in our relationship.  I hope they can in yours too.</p>
<p class="facebook"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/09/3-keys-to-making-your-personal-finances-work-as-a-couple/" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/wp-content/plugins/add-to-facebook-plugin/facebook_share_icon.gif" alt="Share on Facebook" title="Share on Facebook" /></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/09/3-keys-to-making-your-personal-finances-work-as-a-couple/" target="_blank" title="Share on Facebook">Share on Facebook</a></p><div class="tweetmeme_button" style="float: left; margin-left: 10px"><a href="http://api.tweetmeme.com/share?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gettingfinancesdone.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2006%2F09%2F3-keys-to-making-your-personal-finances-work-as-a-couple%2F"><img src="http://api.tweetmeme.com/imagebutton.gif?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gettingfinancesdone.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2006%2F09%2F3-keys-to-making-your-personal-finances-work-as-a-couple%2F" height="61" width="51" /></a></div><!--more--><!-- Arkayne Cache: Yes -->



<div class="arkayne">

  
  
  
  
  



  <h3 class="arkayne-header">
    
      
        More From
        
          sjpeer
        
      
    
  </h3>
  
  
  <!-- Inner Links -->
  <ul class="arkayne-links">
    
    
    <li><a href="http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/08/3-reasons-most-budgets-dont-work-and-how-to-fix-them-aka-how-to-create-a-budget-that-works/?utm_source=Arkayne.com&amp;utm_medium=Plugin&amp;utm_campaign=sjpeer" id="arkayne-1619424" target="_parent" onclick="return Arkayne.go(event, this, 'link', 1619770, 1619424);">3 reasons most budgets don’t work and how to fix them (a.k.a. How to create a budget that works)</a></li>
    
    
    
    <li><a href="http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/10/how-to-become-a-personal-finance-black-belt/?utm_source=Arkayne.com&amp;utm_medium=Plugin&amp;utm_campaign=sjpeer" id="arkayne-1619768" target="_parent" onclick="return Arkayne.go(event, this, 'link', 1619770, 1619768);">How to become a personal finance “black belt” | Getting Finances Done</a></li>
    
    
    
    <li><a href="http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/08/how-to-create-a-zero-based-budget/?utm_source=Arkayne.com&amp;utm_medium=Plugin&amp;utm_campaign=sjpeer" id="arkayne-1619074" target="_parent" onclick="return Arkayne.go(event, this, 'link', 1619770, 1619074);">How to create a zero-based budget</a></li>
    
    
  </ul>
  


  
  
  

  
  
  
  




  
  

  
  
  
  




  
  

  
  
  
  




  
  

  
  
  
  




  
  

  
  <div class="arkayne-footer" style="display: block !important">
  
  
  <a href="http://www.arkayne.com/sjpeer/?utm_source=Arkayne%20Plugin&amp;utm_medium=Recommend&amp;utm_campaign=Plugin&amp;coupon=SJPEER" target="_blank">
    <img src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/arkayne-media/img/logo-recommend.png" width="153" height="28" border="0" alt="sjpeer uses Arkayne Socialize to increase relevant traffic." style="display: block !important; border: none !important; width: 153px !important; height: 28px !important;" />
  </a>
  
  
  
    <img class="arkayne-hit" src="http://www.arkayne.com/widget/hit/1619770.GIF" border="0" alt="" />
  
</div>

  

</div>







]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.gettingfinancesdone.com/blog/archives/2006/09/3-keys-to-making-your-personal-finances-work-as-a-couple/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
	</channel>
</rss>
